It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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