Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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