I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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