I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
