how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
