My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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