Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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