Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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