I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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