No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
