Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
whose parrot is this?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
