there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
