Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
