i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
