I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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