the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
