there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
