I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
