ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
