I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
