i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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