I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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