im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can I color on your dick again?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
