Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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