With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
