Have you finally orgasmed yet?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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