im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
