dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He? As in you personified your dick?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
