I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
