Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize