I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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