margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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