who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
