My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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