i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
True strength comes from lack of pants
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
