as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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