like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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