My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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