You can't motorboat a personality
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
