My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
