I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
