he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
