wanna go halves on a baby?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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