Already got asked if we're dating
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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