At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
