I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
