how can u be prego again
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
