I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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