and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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