He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
