Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
