Buhtt sex?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
