We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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