How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize