One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
