open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
