i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
