Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
