I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
