Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
