did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
