i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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