You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize