Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My pussy is not your playground.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
