just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
