Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
