We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
