I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
