I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
