Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
