You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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